10 WEEK 1:1 COACHING
ATTACHMENT
COACHING
WHAT WOULD SECURE ME DO?™
End self-sabotaging patterns that hinder your ability to find, maintain or end relationships by aligning with your authentic, secure self.
(For individuals and couples)
WELCOME
If you were guided here, you may already have some awareness of the significant role your past experiences play in your current relationships…
✓ You’ve noticed specific trends in who and how you date.
✓ You’ve experienced repeating patterns in how you think, feel and behave within your relationships.
✓ You desire love and connection, but depending on your attachment style, fear it will either abandon, control, or betray you.
✓ You’ve done some research and may have even gone to therapy but still have trouble putting the information you’re learning into proper action.
Although you have insight around the problem, you need guidance on the solution—Someone who can help you connect the pieces and provide you with a proven framework and tools to heal and transform your attachment patterns.
I’m Jessica Da Silva, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Attachment Coach helping adults with insecure attachments (i.e., anxious, dismissive avoidant, and fearful avoidant styles) end self-sabotaging patterns that hinder their ability to find, maintain, or end relationships by cultivating a secure attachment style.
After personally experiencing numerous unhealthy relationships that I was equally responsible for, I was determined to heal the insecurities driving my unhealthy behavioral patterns. Growing up with a predominantly fearful avoidant attachment style (leaning anxious), I would find myself easily triggered. Jealousy, worry, overthinking, and control were common experiences that would provoke much of my self-sabotage. And because I had no understanding of these internal challenges, let alone how to navigate them in a healthy way, I would instantly become reactive and therefore behave in ways that were counterproductive to creating the healthy, secure relationship I deeply desired.
Attachment theory teaches us that our earliest relationship dynamics greatly influence how we experience love as adults. These earlier experiences (whether with caregivers, romantic partners, family members or friends) become the relational blueprints we subconsciously follow and recreate, until we make the conscious choice to shift our internal working models.
After ending my last (and final) painful relationship years ago, I decided to continue my education in psychology by enrolling in a Master’s Program for Marriage and Family Therapy and immersing myself in the world of self-development.
I worked with children, families, individuals, and couples to find healthier ways of relating to themselves and those around them.
These transformative years helped me realize:
Our past does not have to define our future…
We can train our brains to work for us rather than against us…
Learning healthier ways of responding versus reacting are pivotal for ending self-sabotage…
We can 100% learn to become more securely attached by implementing small and effective shifts into our daily life.
Since then, I have used this knowledge to create and maintain a loving and secure relationship with myself (first and foremost) and my amazing partner. And I have branched out into attachment coaching, helping thousands of people transform the way they experience love through practical, evidence-based strategies that I’ll be teaching you during our ten weeks of working together.
NO MORE JUST TALKING ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS. LET’S DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!
This coaching style is for you if you’re looking for a solution-focused and action-oriented approach to healing.
What clients are saying…
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Thank you sosososo much for this amazing experience of being involved in this program. ❤️❤️ The knowledge and skills that I have learned from you will always be carried with me no matter where I am. I have learned how to self-soothe, reflect on my needs, and use strategies to operate from a secure version of me with your help. I truly value all of your insights and guidance, I am so excited to continue building on these skills and creating a stronger secure version of myself.
Priyanka S.
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It’s been almost two years since I had my one on one sessions with Jessica and I’m now finally in a healthy relationship where vulnerability and communication are at the forefront and where anxiety has not arose once. I never thought I’d get to this place, but understanding my attachment style and understanding that it’s not a fault but a beautiful framework of how I need to be loved has truly changed my life.
Sophie B.
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I couldn’t be more grateful to Jessica. Learning about my attachment style and how it’s impacted all of my relationships has been so illuminating. It’s been one year since we stopped working together, and my marriage is still going strong. My triggers still come up occasionally, but thanks to the tools she has taught me, I can better handle what comes up for me. I never thought I would say that I feel like my “secure self”—but here we are!
Chris E.
WHAT ARE ATTACHMENT STYLES AND HOW CAN IT HELP YOU CHANGE THE WAY YOU EXPERIENCE LOVE?
Attachment Theory is a highly recognized evolutionary and psychological approach based on the scientific fact that all humans are wired for connection.
What this means is that we all have a biological need for love and belonging….We can’t escape it, we can only learn and evolve from them.
According to extensive research, we experience love and attachment in one (or a variation) of these four styles: Anxious Preoccupied, Dismissive Avoidant, Fearful Avoidant (Disorganized), and Secure Attachment Style.
These attachment styles are developed in our earlier relationships, with people we depended on or had an emotional connection with (i.e. with parents, caregivers, partners, friends, family, etc) and it follows us through adulthood…Which is why we find ourselves in cyclical and familiar relationship dynamics, time and time again.
Attachment Theory gives us insight into:
-Why we choose certain partners.
-Why we repeat specific relationship patterns.
-Why we think, feel and behave the way we do when it comes to love.
-Our relationship triggers and needs.
-A framework to becoming more secure.
ATTACHMENT STYLE BREAKDOWN
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SECURE ATTACHMENT STYLE
Someone with a Secure Attachment Style believes that emotional intimacy is safe. They have a positive concept of self and a positive concept of others. Love feels trusting and dependable. Secure Attachments know how to meet their own needs and can be empathetic to the needs of others. Not only do they feel confident in their ability to give love, but they’re just as secure in their ability to receive it.
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ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT STYLE
Someone with an Anxious Attachment Style (Preoccupied) has a deeply rooted fear of abandonment. If love or emotional intimacy felt fleeting or conditional in their earlier relationships, then they are most likely hypervigilant in their current relationships to anything that may indicate rejection. Things like disconnection, distance, and inconsistencies will cause the anxiously attached person to overthink, excessively worry, be overly dependent, feel “not good enough,” and overcompensate to keep the relationship afloat.
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DISMISSIVE AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT STYLE
Someone with a Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Style has difficulty with emotional intimacy. They have a hard time connecting to their emotions and expressing what is on their heart. This disconnect causes a lot of the challenges they face within their relationships. Avoidant’s also have a tendency of withdrawing and distancing themselves when they experience relationship anxiety, making it difficult to create secure bonds with those they love.
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FEARFUL AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT STYLE
A person with a Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style (Disorganized) lives in an ambivalent state of wanting closeness/connection and then wanting distance. Fearful Avoidant’s experienced deep traumas and forms of enmeshment in their earlier relationships. They have the capacity to love and connect with those closest to them but simultaneously fear that they will be betrayed or taken advantage of. These beliefs trigger much of the relationship anxiety they experience and sabotaging behaviors.
CLIENT TESTIMONIALS
Priyanka S.
Megan k.
ADVANTAGES OF DOING THIS COACHING IF YOU ARE SINGLE:
Identify and work through unresolved issues from the past that may be interfering with your ability to find or experience healthy relationships.
Improve your understanding of relationships and it's natural stages so that you can create realistic expectations for love.
Gain a deep understanding of how you give and receive love based on your attachment needs and belief systems.
Gain insight into your attachment patterns: Who you’re attracted to and why you tend to be attracted to these types of people.
What to look for and avoid in a potential partner based on your specific attachment needs.
Practical tools geared towards helping you cultivate a secure attachment style.
ADVANTAGES OF DOING THIS COACHING IF YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP:
Having a deep understanding of you and your partners attachment style: How you both give and receive love.
Insight on your triggers and needs within the relationship, as well as your partners.
Understanding each others attachment language so you both feel seen and heard.
How to set and communicate boundaries.
How to emotionally self-regulate in times of pain and disconnect.
Confidence in staying or leaving a relationship.
Practical tools geared towards helping you cultivate a secure attachment style.
Having this knowledge is VITAL.
When we learn to become more securely attached, it reflects in all aspects of our lives!
10 WEEK BREAKDOWN
WEEK 1: UNDERSTANDING THE IN’S AND OUT’S OF YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE
WEEK 2: BECOMING YOUR SECURE SELF
WEEK 3: DISCOVERING, COMMUNICATING AND MEETING YOUR RELATIONSHIP NEEDS
WEEK 4: ESTABLISHING HEALTHY BOUNDARIES FOR PERSONAL AND RELATIONAL SATISFACTION
WEEK 5: REFRAMING YOUR INSECURE THOUGHTS INTO SECURE BELIEF SYSTEMS
WEEK 6: HEALING ATTACHMENT TRAUMA AND CONNECTING TO YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF
WEEK 7: BUILDING CONFIDENCE AND TRUST
WEEK 9: IMPLEMENTATION WEEK AND COACHING SUPPORT
WEEK 8: CULTIVATING SELF-LOVE
WEEK 10: IMPLEMENTATION WEEK AND COACHING SUPPORT
WHAT'S INCLUDED IN THE COACHING PACKAGE:
✓ Eight one-on-one 60 minute video coaching calls over Zoom.
✓ 10 weeks of e-mail and Voxer (voice messaging) support.
✓ Resources that will support your healing process (i.e. worksheets, pdf’s, books, guides, meditations, and more).
✓ Discounted rate for continuing sessions.
✓ Lifetime access to the My Secure Self E-Course where you can refresh your memory on all the tools we covered within our 10 weeks of working together.
WHAT MICHELLE B. HAS TO SAY…
ATTACHMENT COACHING IS FOR YOU IF:
✓ You want a structured and action-oriented approach to meeting your relationship goals.
✓ You want to learn easy-to-implement tools to shift your attachment patterns.
✓ You want to achieve your desired outcomes within a short amount of time.
✓ You want direction in identifying your challenges, developing skills, and want to take concrete steps towards embodying your secure self.
BOOK YOUR FREE 20 MINUTE CLARITY CALL
(LIMITED SPACES AVAILABLE)
