ATTACHMENT
COACHING
“WHAT WOULD SECURE ME DO?”®
An action-oriented approach to healing that helps you break unhealthy relationship patterns and build the mindset, habits, and emotional security of secure attachment.
(INDIVIDUALS AND COUPLES)
Do you wish you could approach dating and relationships with calm, clarity, and confidence, like the secure version of yourself you know is within reach?
What’s Keeping You Stuck?
Maybe you feel…
→ Overwhelmed by fear of rejection or abandonment
→ Afraid to express your feelings and needs, fearing you’ll disappoint or push others away
→ Caught in a cycle of overthinking or second-guessing your decisions
→ Unsure how to set boundaries or maintain your sense of self in relationships
→ Frustrated by your behaviors and not knowing how to change them
Through the My Secure Self Method® you will learn the tools, strategies, and mindset shifts to help you align with the secure version of yourself in relationships. It’s not about pretending to be someone you’re not – it’s about uncovering the confident and authentic you that’s already there!
Jessica Da Silva is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (LMFT), Attachment Coach, author of The Anxious Attachment Recovery Workbook, and host of the Let's Talk Attachments podcast.
Jessica helps individuals and couples break unhealthy relationship patterns and build greater emotional security through a practical, action-oriented approach to attachment healing. Her work combines attachment theory, nervous system regulation, cognitive and behavioral change, and experiential exercises designed to help clients move beyond awareness and create lasting transformation.
At the heart of her work is the My Secure Self Method®, which is based on the belief that healing attachment wounds requires more than understanding your attachment style—it requires learning how to consistently embody secure attachment. Through this framework, clients learn to strengthen the mindset, habits, emotional regulation skills, communication tools, boundaries, and self-trust associated with secure attachment.
While Jessica's background as a therapist informs her work, her coaching approach is distinct from traditional therapy. Rather than focusing solely on insight and understanding the past, coaching is solution-focused, action-oriented, and designed to create meaningful change now.
Using the question, "What Would Secure Me Do?"®, clients learn how to interrupt old attachment patterns, make more secure decisions in real time, and actively practice healthier ways of relating to themselves and others.
The goal isn't simply understanding why a pattern exists—it's learning how to change it.
What clients are saying…
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Thank you sosososo much for this amazing experience of being involved in this program. ❤️❤️ The knowledge and skills that I have learned from you will always be carried with me no matter where I am. I have learned how to self-soothe, reflect on my needs, and use strategies to operate from a secure version of me with your help. I truly value all of your insights and guidance, I am so excited to continue building on these skills and creating a stronger secure version of myself.
Priyanka S.
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It’s been almost two years since I had my one on one sessions with Jessica and I’m now finally in a healthy relationship where vulnerability and communication are at the forefront and where anxiety has not arose once. I never thought I’d get to this place, but understanding my attachment style and understanding that it’s not a fault but a beautiful framework of how I need to be loved has truly changed my life.
Sophie B.
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I couldn’t be more grateful to Jessica. Learning about my attachment style and how it’s impacted all of my relationships has been so illuminating. It’s been one year since we stopped working together, and my marriage is still going strong. My triggers still come up occasionally, but thanks to the tools she has taught me, I can better handle what comes up for me. I never thought I would say that I feel like my “secure self”—but here we are!
Chris E.
WHAT ARE ATTACHMENT STYLES?
Attachment Theory is a well-researched psychological framework based on the idea that humans are biologically wired for connection. Our need for love and belonging is fundamental and it shapes how we experience relationships.
Most people relate through one (or a combination) of four attachment styles: Anxious, Dismissive Avoidant, Fearful Avoidant, or Secure. These patterns develop in early relationships and often carry into adulthood, which is why relationship dynamics can feel familiar or repetitive.
Understanding your attachment style helps explain:
Who you’re drawn to and why
The patterns you repeat in relationships
Your triggers, needs, and emotional reactions
How to move toward more secure, grounded connection
Awareness is the first step toward changing how you experience love.
ATTACHMENT STYLE BREAKDOWN
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SECURE ATTACHMENT STYLE
You approach love with optimism, even through setbacks and heartbreak. Relationships feel safe, trusting, and dependable. You’re comfortable relying on others as well as yourself, and you navigate closeness without fear. You feel confident in your ability to give love—and equally secure in your ability to receive it.
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ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT STYLE
You long for connection but fear abandonment, making it hard to trust that love will last. Moments of disconnection, distance, rejection, or inconsistency can trigger intense overthinking, jealousy, and worry. You might find yourself becoming clingy or overly focused on your partner's needs, often neglecting your own in an effort to keep the relationship intact. Deep down, you may feel unsupported or unloved—even when you're not alone.
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DISMISSIVE AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT STYLE
You tend to stay on the surface, often deflecting from deeper emotional intimacy—even though part of you may deeply crave it. Being alone feels safer and more manageable than the vulnerability that comes with close, committed relationships. These protective patterns can make you appear withdrawn, emotionally closed off, or rigid when it comes to love. Your partners often seek more emotional depth than you feel equipped to give, which can leave you feeling like a disappointment or emotionally overwhelmed.
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FEARFUL AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT STYLE
You experience both anxious and avoidant patterns, creating a tug-of-war within your heart. You deeply crave love and have so much to give, yet you don’t feel truly safe in it. There’s a lingering fear that others will betray, abandon, or take advantage of you. As a result, you may find yourself drawing love in while simultaneously pushing it away—wanting connection, but fearing it at the same time. This inner conflict often leaves you feeling alone, guarded, and unsure of how to trust or let love in fully.
CLIENT TESTIMONIALS
Priyanka S.
Megan k.
ADVANTAGES OF DOING THIS COACHING IF YOU ARE SINGLE:
Reconnect with your Secure Self by identifying and healing unresolved attachment patterns that may be influencing who you’re drawn to and how you show up in dating.
Understand the natural stages of relationships so you can release fantasy, create realistic expectations, and move with clarity rather than urgency.
Learn how you give and receive love through the lens of your attachment needs, belief systems, and nervous system responses.
Gain insight into your attraction patterns, who you’re drawn to, why it feels familiar, and whether it’s aligned with your Secure Self.
Clarify what to look for (and what to avoid) in a partner based on self-respect, emotional availability, and long-term compatibility.
Develop practical tools to cultivate secure attachment, so you can date from a grounded, confident place rather than fear, hope, or self-abandonment.
Learn to make dating decisions from your Secure Self, guided by the question: What Would Secure Me Do?
ADVANTAGES OF DOING THIS COACHING IF YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP:
Develop a deeper understanding of both your attachment style and your partner’s, including how each of you gives, receives, and experiences love.
Identify your triggers and needs (and your partner’s) so conflict becomes an opportunity for understanding rather than disconnection.
Learn each other’s attachment language, helping both of you feel seen, heard, and emotionally safe.
Build the ability to set and communicate boundaries clearly, calmly, and without guilt or over-explaining.
Strengthen emotional self-regulation, so you can respond rather than react during moments of pain, distance, or misunderstanding.
Gain clarity and confidence in staying or leaving a relationship, making decisions from your Secure Self rather than fear or attachment activation.
Integrate practical tools that support secure attachment, consistency, and self-trust—individually and together.
1:1 Attachment Coaching
12- or 16-Week Coaching Options
Together, we'll create a personalized plan based on your unique needs, goals, relationship challenges, and attachment style. While the My Secure Self Method® provides a proven framework, our sessions remain flexible and tailored to where you need the most support.
Areas we may focus on:
✓ Understanding your attachment patterns
✓ Strengthening your Secure Self
✓ Regulating emotional triggers
✓ Building healthier communication skills
✓ Setting boundaries with confidence
✓ Breaking self-sabotaging relationship patterns
✓ Creating greater self-trust and emotional security
What's included:
✓ 12 or 16 private 60-minute coaching sessions with Jessica (individuals or couples)
✓ Personalized coaching and implementation support
✓ Email support between sessions
✓ Practical tools, exercises, and action steps
✓ Lifetime access to the My Secure Self® E-Course
✓ Access to the growing library of Attachment Rewiring Meditations
Book a Free Consultation to learn more and explore whether coaching is the right fit for you.
WHAT MICHELLE B. HAS TO SAY…
BOOK YOUR FREE 20-MINUTE CLARITY CALL
This complimentary call is a chance to explore your attachment patterns, clarify your goals, and see if we’re a good fit to work together.