You know your pattern. Now let's change it.
Over 8 weeks of personalized coaching using the My Secure Self Method®, we'll identify your unique patterns, challenge the thoughts and behaviors keeping you stuck, and practice more secure ways of navigating your real-life dating and relationship challenges.
Book a free clarity callFor individuals and couples
Secure Me do?
Knowing isn't the same as changing
You've listened to the podcasts. Read the books. Saved the posts. Maybe you can even explain exactly why you do what you do. But knowing your patterns and changing what you do when you're triggered are two very different things.
Knowing your pattern
- You can name your attachment style
- You understand where it comes from
- You still send the text, shut down or spiral
Changing your pattern
- You catch it while it's happening
- You pause before reacting
- You choose what Secure You would do
Over 8 weeks, I get to know your patterns, not just your attachment style. We work with what's actually happening in your dating life or relationship, and practice responding differently in real time.
The 8-week My Secure Self® coaching program
Map your attachment blueprint
Your attachment history, triggers, fears, protective behaviors and the cycles you keep finding yourself in. The goal is to understand your pattern, not just your style.
Meet your Secure Self
Who you are outside of your attachment wounds: your values, needs, boundaries, standards, and what Secure You looks like in practice.
Recognize self-sabotaging patterns
The thoughts, behaviors and defenses that show up when your attachment system is activated, and may create the very outcomes you fear.
Meet your needs securely
The needs underneath your triggers, and the difference between interdependence, reassurance seeking, self-abandonment and hyper-independence.
Challenge the story
Separate facts from fear, challenge anxious or avoidant narratives, and find a more balanced perspective before reacting.
Practice "What Would Secure Me Do?™"
Real situations: texts, dating decisions, conflict, boundaries, space and rejection. You practice choosing a Secure Self response as it happens.
Break the pattern in real time
We spot the subtler blind spots, challenge old behaviors as they arise, and strengthen your new responses.
Embody your Secure Self
What's changed, your warning signs, and a personalized roadmap for continuing the work beyond coaching.
What would Secure Me do?
Healing takes more than understanding your attachment style. You have to learn how to respond differently when your wounds are actually activated. This one question becomes your compass, in every text, date and hard conversation.
Wherever you are in love right now
If you're single
- Identify the patterns you can't always see while you're in them
- Recognize your attraction patterns in real time
- Separate attachment activation from genuine compatibility
- Clarify your values, needs, preferences and dealbreakers
- Work through your actual dating experiences together
- Turn insight into new behavior
If you're in a relationship
- Identify your unique relationship cycle
- Recognize your triggers and protective behaviors in real time
- Separate attachment wounds from genuine differences
- Communicate your needs and boundaries more securely
- Regulate and respond differently when triggered
- Gain clarity around difficult relationship decisions
Hi, I'm Jessica
I'm a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, author of The Anxious Attachment Recovery Workbook, and host of the Let's Talk Attachments podcast. I help individuals and couples break unhealthy relationship patterns and build emotional security through a practical, action-oriented approach.
My background as a therapist informs my work, but coaching is different from therapy. It's solution-focused and centered on creating meaningful change in the here and now. The goal isn't simply to understand why your patterns exist. It's to change what you do when they show up.
From anxious and stuck to secure
"It's been almost two years since I had my one on one sessions with Jessica and I'm now finally in a healthy relationship where vulnerability and communication are at the forefront and where anxiety has not arose once. I never thought I'd get to this place."
Sophie B.
"I had previously been to therapy, multiple times, with different therapists and was never able to truly learn the necessary skills to change certain behaviors. Within 2 months Jessica taught me the tools to break my toxic relationship patterns and the confidence to set boundaries, prioritize my needs, and attract a healthy partner!"
Sydney S.
"It's been one year since we stopped working together, and my marriage is still going strong. My triggers still come up occasionally, but thanks to the tools she has taught me, I can better handle what comes up for me. I never thought I would say that I feel like my 'secure self', but here we are!"
Chris E.
"I have learned how to self-soothe, reflect on my needs, and use strategies to operate from a secure version of me with your help. I truly value all of your insights and guidance."
Priyanka S.
8 weeks to your Secure Self
- ✓Eight 60-minute coaching sessions with Jessica (individual or couples)
- ✓Personalized coaching and ongoing accountability
- ✓Email support between sessions
- ✓Practical tools, exercises and action steps
- ✓Lifetime access to the My Secure Self® E-Course
- ✓Access to the growing library of Attachment Rewiring Meditations
Which style sounds like you?
Book your free 20-minute clarity call
A chance to explore your attachment patterns, clarify your goals, and see if we're a good fit to work together.
Book a free clarity call