PERSONALIZED ATTACHMENT
COACHING
Over 8 weeks of personalized coaching using the My Secure Self Method®, we’ll identify your unique patterns, challenge the thoughts and behaviors keeping you stuck, and practice more secure ways of navigating your real-life dating and relationship challenges.
(INDIVIDUALS AND COUPLES)
You probably already know a lot about your attachment style…
You've listened to the podcasts. Read the books. Saved the posts. Maybe you can even explain exactly why you do what you do.
But knowing your patterns and changing what you do when you're triggered are two very different things.
That's where personalized coaching comes in!
Over 8 weeks, I get to know your patterns, not just your attachment style.
We work with what's actually happening in your dating life or relationship, identify the patterns you may not be able to see while you're in them, and practice responding differently in real time.
The 8-Week My Secure Self® Attachment Coaching Program
Moving from awareness → change → security
Week 1 — Map Your Attachment Blueprint
We start by getting underneath your specific relationship patterns—your attachment history, triggers, fears, protective behaviors, current challenges, and the cycles you keep finding yourself in. The goal is to understand your pattern, not just your attachment style.
Week 2 — Meet Your Secure Self
We define who you are outside of your attachment wounds. We clarify your values, needs, boundaries, relationship standards, and what Secure You looks like in practice. This becomes the foundation we'll return to throughout our work.
Week 3 — Recognize Your Self-Sabotaging Patterns
This is where we start identifying what happens when your attachment system gets activated. We look at the thoughts, behaviors, defenses, and coping strategies that may be unintentionally creating the very outcomes you're afraid of.
Week 4 — Learn to Meet Your Needs Securely
We identify the needs underneath your triggers and work on expressing and meeting them differently. You'll learn the difference between healthy dependence, interdependence, reassurance seeking, self-abandonment, and hyper-independence.
Week 5 — Challenge the Story Your Attachment Is Telling You
We work with your actual triggers and relationship experiences to separate facts from fear, challenge anxious or avoidant narratives, and develop a more balanced perspective before reacting.
Week 6 — Practice “What Would Secure Me Do?™”
Now we move from insight into action. We work through real-life situations—texts, dating decisions, conflict, boundaries, uncertainty, communication, intimacy, space, rejection—and practice choosing a Secure Self response while it's actually happening.
Week 7 — Break the Pattern in Real Time
By this point, we've had several weeks to observe your patterns together. We can identify the subtler blind spots you may not recognize on your own, challenge old behaviors as they arise, and strengthen the new responses you've been practicing.
Week 8 — Embody Your Secure Self
We bring everything together. You'll identify what's changed, what still activates you, your personal warning signs, and the practices that help you return to security. Together, we'll create a personalized roadmap for continuing the work beyond coaching.
*This isn't a rigid curriculum. Each session builds upon the last while remaining personalized to what you're actually experiencing in your relationships, so we can work with your patterns as they're happening, not just talk about them in theory.
Your program includes 8 private coaching sessions, with up to 4 months to complete all 8 sessions, giving you the flexibility to move through the process at a pace that supports you while maintaining consistency and momentum.*
Meet Your Coach!
I’m Jessica Da Silva, a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (LMFT), Attachment Coach, author of The Anxious Attachment Recovery Workbook, and host of the Let’s Talk Attachments podcast.
I help individuals and couples break unhealthy relationship patterns and build greater emotional security through a practical, action-oriented approach to attachment healing.
At the heart of my work is the My Secure Self Method®, based on the belief that healing requires more than understanding your attachment style. You have to learn how to respond differently when your attachment wounds are actually activated.
Together, we identify the patterns keeping you stuck, challenge the thoughts and behaviors reinforcing them, and practice healthier ways of responding to the real-life situations you’re navigating.
While my background as a therapist informs my work, my coaching approach is distinct from traditional therapy. It’s solution-focused, action-oriented, and centered on creating meaningful change in the here and now.
Using the question “What Would Secure Me Do?®”, I’ll help you recognize when old attachment patterns are taking over, make more secure decisions in real time, and strengthen the mindset, behaviors, boundaries, communication skills, and self-trust of your Secure Self.
The goal isn’t simply to understand why your patterns exist—it’s to help you change what you do when they show up!
Client Reviews…
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Thank you sosososo much for this amazing experience of being involved in this program. ❤️❤️ The knowledge and skills that I have learned from you will always be carried with me no matter where I am. I have learned how to self-soothe, reflect on my needs, and use strategies to operate from a secure version of me with your help. I truly value all of your insights and guidance, I am so excited to continue building on these skills and creating a stronger secure version of myself.
Priyanka S.
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It’s been almost two years since I had my one on one sessions with Jessica and I’m now finally in a healthy relationship where vulnerability and communication are at the forefront and where anxiety has not arose once. I never thought I’d get to this place, but understanding my attachment style and understanding that it’s not a fault but a beautiful framework of how I need to be loved has truly changed my life.
Sophie B.
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I couldn’t be more grateful to Jessica. Learning about my attachment style and how it’s impacted all of my relationships has been so illuminating. It’s been one year since we stopped working together, and my marriage is still going strong. My triggers still come up occasionally, but thanks to the tools she has taught me, I can better handle what comes up for me. I never thought I would say that I feel like my “secure self”—but here we are!
Chris E.
Attachment theory helps you understand your “relationship style” through the lens of your past experiences—why you’re drawn to certain people, what triggers you, and why you may repeat certain patterns in love.
ATTACHMENT STYLE BREAKDOWN
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SECURE ATTACHMENT STYLE
You approach love with optimism, even through setbacks and heartbreak. Relationships feel safe, trusting, and dependable. You’re comfortable relying on others as well as yourself, and you navigate closeness without fear. You feel confident in your ability to give love—and equally secure in your ability to receive it.
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ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT STYLE
You long for connection but fear abandonment, making it hard to trust that love will last. Moments of disconnection, distance, rejection, or inconsistency can trigger intense overthinking, jealousy, and worry. You might find yourself becoming clingy or overly focused on your partner's needs, often neglecting your own in an effort to keep the relationship intact. Deep down, you may feel unsupported or unloved—even when you're not alone.
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DISMISSIVE AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT STYLE
You tend to stay on the surface, often deflecting from deeper emotional intimacy—even though part of you may deeply crave it. Being alone feels safer and more manageable than the vulnerability that comes with close, committed relationships. These protective patterns can make you appear withdrawn, emotionally closed off, or rigid when it comes to love. Your partners often seek more emotional depth than you feel equipped to give, which can leave you feeling like a disappointment or emotionally overwhelmed.
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FEARFUL AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT STYLE
You experience both anxious and avoidant patterns, creating a tug-of-war within your heart. You deeply crave love and have so much to give, yet you don’t feel truly safe in it. There’s a lingering fear that others will betray, abandon, or take advantage of you. As a result, you may find yourself drawing love in while simultaneously pushing it away—wanting connection, but fearing it at the same time. This inner conflict often leaves you feeling alone, guarded, and unsure of how to trust or let love in fully.
CLIENT TESTIMONIALS
Priyanka S.
Megan k.
ADVANTAGES OF DOING THIS WORK…
IF YOU ARE SINGLE:
Identify the attachment patterns you can’t always see while you’re in them.
Recognize your attraction patterns in real time.
Challenge the stories, fears, and protective behaviors keeping you stuck.
Separate attachment activation from genuine compatibility.
Clarify your values, needs, preferences, and dealbreakers.
Work through your actual dating experiences together.
Strengthen your Secure Self through practice and accountability.
Turn insight into new behavior.
IF YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP:
Identify your unique relationship cycle.
Recognize your triggers, interpretations, and protective behaviors in real time.
Bring your actual relationship challenges into our sessions.
Separate attachment wounds from genuine relationship differences.
Learn to communicate your needs and boundaries more securely.
Strengthen your ability to regulate and respond differently when triggered.
Gain clarity around difficult relationship decisions.
Build your Secure Self through ongoing practice and accountability.
8-Week My Secure Self® Coaching Program — $3,500 USD
Payment plans available as low as$475/month.
Pay in full and receive 2 additional sessions (10 sessions total)
What's included:
✓ Eight 60-minute coaching sessions with Jessica (individual or couples)
✓ Personalized coaching and ongoing accountability
✓ Email support between sessions
✓ Practical tools, exercises, and action steps
✓ Lifetime access to the My Secure Self® E-Course (additional support outside of coaching)
✓ Access to the growing library of Attachment Rewiring Meditations
Book a Free Consultation to learn more and explore whether coaching is the right fit for you.
Personalized Attachment Coaching Investment:
WHAT MICHELLE B. HAS TO SAY…
BOOK YOUR FREE 20-MINUTE CLARITY CALL
This complimentary call is a chance to explore your attachment patterns, clarify your goals, and see if we’re a good fit to work together.