Ep.126/ Lessons From Dating an Avoidant and an Anxious Partner
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Have you ever noticed that different relationships bring out different versions of you?
In this week's episode of Let's Talk Attachments, I share some personal reflections from dating both avoidant and anxious partners—and the surprising lessons each relationship taught me.
My relationships with avoidant partners reinforced my hyper-independence. I learned how to rely on myself, build a life outside of my relationships, and become incredibly self-sufficient.
My relationships with anxious partners, on the other hand, challenged me to look at my boundaries, people-pleasing tendencies, and where I felt responsible for someone else's emotional state.
Neither experience was inherently good or bad.
But both revealed important areas where I still had room to grow.
In this episode, we explore:
→ How avoidant relationships can reinforce hyper-independence
→ How anxious relationships can expose codependent tendencies
→ The difference between supporting someone and becoming responsible for them
→ Why secure attachment isn't independence or dependence—it's interdependence
→ How every relationship can become an opportunity for growth
My hope is that this conversation helps you look at your own relationships with greater compassion, curiosity, and self-awareness.
And if you're ready to start making healthier changes in your love life, check out my Secure Self Toolkit, which includes attachment rewiring meditations, communication scripts, a trigger guide, Secure Self Blueprint, and a 30-Day Secure Self Plan.
Until next time, remember to ask yourself:
What Would Secure Me Do?®
Jessica
