ABOUT ME

My name is Jessica Da Silva. I’m a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Attachment Coach who helps adults break self-sabotaging attachment patterns and build stronger, more secure relationships using attachment theory and evidence-based practices.

At the heart of my work is My Secure Self Method—a framework designed to help people move from reactive attachment patterns into grounded, self-led decision-making. Through this work, I teach clients how to reconnect with their Secure Self and make choices from clarity, self-trust, and emotional safety—what I often refer to as asking, “What Would Secure Me Do?®”

Why do I do this work?

Because I know firsthand how painful and confusing insecure attachment can be and I believe we all deserve more freedom, fulfillment, and security within ourselves and our relationships.

Some say our greatest wounds become our greatest medicine.

I’ve been drawn to psychology since my early teens. After taking my first psychology class in high school, I remember thinking, This is really cool. I love how this helps you understand yourself and why you do what you do.

As the oldest child of a single immigrant mother, I naturally stepped into the caretaker role in my family. I learned early on to prioritize others’ needs over my own, often losing myself in the process. Boundaries were almost nonexistent, and authentic self-expression came with consequences.

Insecure attachment patterns (predominantly anxious and fearful avoidant) ran through generations of my maternal family line. While I knew early on that I wanted something different for myself, that awareness didn’t prevent me from experiencing my own unhealthy relationship dynamics.

I grew up believing that love was fleeting, painful, and required constant effort and sacrifice.

And it wasn’t until a very abusive relationship that I finally decided: enough was enough.

I empowered myself through education and immersed myself deeply in psychology and self-development. I earned my B.A. in Psychology from the University of Hawaiʻi at Mānoa, followed by a Master’s in Counseling from California State University, Los Angeles. I also pursued certifications in Life Coaching, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Emotional Freedom Technique, and Hypnosis.

Over time, I gathered the tools—not just to understand attachment patterns—but to actually change them.

By putting this work into practice, I rebuilt my self-esteem, cultivated a deeper sense of security in who I was and what I wanted, and learned healthier ways of experiencing love. I moved from isolating, idealizing partners, and revolving my life around one relationship to building a community of secure, grounded relationships rooted in authenticity, mutual respect, and genuine connection. As a result, I began creating a life that truly felt aligned and fulfilling.

I want you to know this:
Relationships don’t have to feel this hard or limiting.

Even if you weren’t modeled healthy ways of experiencing love, you can change the trajectory of your life. Cultivating a secure attachment style is possible. And yes, we can thank science for that.

I went from feeling stuck in self-sabotaging patterns to feeling empowered, grounded, and in control of my thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.

These are the exact transformations I’m passionate about teaching through my books, e-courses, one-on-one coaching, podcast, and online platforms —> helping others reconnect with their Secure Self and learn how to choose differently, one decision at a time.