Ep.120/ How Your Attachment Style Was Formed
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Today’s Let's Talk Attachments podcast episode is a gentle (but powerful) backtrack into the roots of your attachment style…And the part I see bring people the biggest sigh of relief:
Your anxiety, avoidance, or push–pull patterns in love aren’t who you are.
You’re not broken.
You’re not “too much.”
You’re not emotionally unavailable by nature…
You’re adapted — and your nervous system learned these patterns in response to emotional attunement (or a lack of it).
In this episode, we’re talking about attunement: what it is, why it matters, and how it shaped the way you experience connection today.
Attunement is the felt sense of being emotionally seen, responded to, and safe with someone.
Not perfect parenting. Not perfect partners.
Just: “I see you. I get you. You matter. You’re safe with me.”
And when emotional connection is inconsistent or missing, your nervous system learns new ways to protect itself in relationships — and that’s where attachment patterns form.
I also share:
-The Still Face Experiment (Dr. Edward Tronick) and what it reveals about our need for emotional responsiveness
-How anxious, avoidant, fearful avoidant, and secure attachment can form
-Why avoidant attachment doesn’t mean “no feelings” — it often means feelings weren’t nurtured, so logic became the safer place to live
-And why secure attachment isn’t perfection… it’s consistency (and yes, it can be cultivated)
Learn about 1:1 Attachment Coaching with Jessica here.
