Ep.118/ Six Habits of Securely Attached People (And How You Can Learn Them)
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When I first learned about attachment styles, I remember feeling two things at once…
Hope that I finally understood why I reacted the way I did.
Fear that maybe I was “stuck” this way.
But here's the thing: We are not stuck and our brains are malleable.
Thanks to neuroplasticity, we can learn new emotional patterns, new relational habits, and new ways of thinking and responding.
This is exactly how I shifted from fearful avoidant/anxious to predominantly secure.
And you can too.
In psychology, we call this earned secure attachment. This is when someone raised with inconsistent or emotionally unsafe patterns learns the habits and mindset of secure attachment later in life.
Secure people aren’t special or lucky…
They simply learned certain skills early on.
Skills we can all learn.
Below are the six core habits of securely attached people, along with the six pillars inside the My Secure Self E-Course that teach you exactly how to embody them.
THE SIX HABITS OF SECURELY ATTACHED PEOPLE
(And the pillar inside the course that teaches it)
1. They understand their patterns instead of judging themselves.
Secure people have self-awareness. They know what activates them and why.
Pillar 1: Attachment Awareness & Root Causes
You’ll identify your patterns, your wounds, and why you react the way you do — with clarity, not shame.
2. They know how to regulate their emotions.
They feel their feelings and are more easily able to meet the underlying needs.
Pillar 2: Emotional Regulation & Nervous System Support
You’ll learn grounding, regulation, and self-soothing tools so you can respond (not react).
3. They can express needs clearly and honestly.
Secure people don’t hint, hide, or hope. They communicate.
Pillar 3: Needs Awareness & Healthy Communication
You’ll learn how to identify your needs + ask for them in ways that build connection, not conflict.
4. They take responsibility without taking all the blame.
Secure attachment means humility without self-abandonment.
Pillar 4: Reframing Insecurities & Thought Patterns
You’ll challenge old beliefs, reduce overthinking, and build an inner dialogue rooted in security.
5. They set boundaries that protect connection — not punish.
Secure people set limitations for self-preservation and to keep the relationship safe rather than to distance, control, or push someone away.
Pillar 5: Boundaries, Self-Trust & Self-Love
You’ll learn how to set boundaries that honor both you and the relationship.
6. They choose people who choose them.
Secure people don’t chase or cling. They match effort, consistency, and energy.
Pillar 6: Building Secure Habits Daily
You’ll create rituals, mindset shifts, and relational habits that reshape how you show up in love.
If you want to become more secure… this is the roadmap.
These six pillars are the exact structure of the My Secure Self E-Course — the method I created after years of therapy training + seeing what actually works for clients who need:
✔️ Practical tools
✔️ Clear steps
✔️ Emotional implementation
✔️ Daily habits
✔️ Not another theoretical course they never finish
And because so many of you asked and because I’m so grateful for this community…I re-opened the e-course until Sunday and offered it for 75% off, something I’ve never done before.
This is your chance to learn the Secure Self Method at a fraction of the usual cost and begin practicing these habits in your daily life.
❤️ You have 2 more days to get access before the offer closes.
After Sunday, the course will come down again.
You’ll get:
6 in-depth modules
Weekly practices
Helpful scripts and prompts
Lifetime access
Tools for all attachment styles
A clear system for becoming secure
Self-paced learning you can return to anytime
And the exact framework I use in 1:1 coaching
If you’ve been wanting to work with me but haven’t been able to yet, this truly is the next best thing.
👉 Get 75% Off My Secure Self E-Course Here (2 days left)
I hope this gives you hope, clarity, and a reminder that your patterns are not permanent!
You’re simply learning the skills no one taught you.
And I’m so honored to walk with you through it.
