Ep.113/ Passive vs. Rigid Avoidant: Two Faces of Avoidant Attachment
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Did you know dismissive avoidant attachment doesn’t always look the same? In fact, over the years of working with dismissive avoidant leaning clients, I’ve noticed two distinct patterns:
👉 The Passive Avoidant – the “nice guy/gal” who avoids conflict by shrinking back, staying agreeable, and suppressing their own needs.
👉 The Rigid Avoidant – the more controlling or critical type, who avoids vulnerability by tightening the rules, raising the standards, and keeping others at a safe distance.
Both protect themselves differently — one by disappearing, the other by hardening — but at the core, both are rooted in fear of vulnerability and fear of being hurt.
In this week’s podcast episode, I break down these two avoidant styles, why it matters in relationships, and what steps each can take to move toward more secure love.
✨ A quick note:
If you’ve been wanting to do deeper work on your own attachment patterns, I currently have a few attachment coaching spots available. Whether you identify with avoidant tendencies or you’re in relationship with someone who does, coaching can give you the tools, clarity, and confidence to shift into more secure ways of relating.
You can learn more and secure your spot here.
Take a moment to ask yourself: Which dismissive avoidant style shows up more in you or in your relationships — passive or rigid?
Wishing you the best,
Jessica
