Ep.114/ Passive vs. Rigid Anxious Attacher: Two Faces of Anxious Attachment
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When most people hear anxious attachment, they imagine one type of person — someone who texts constantly, feels clingy, and panics when they sense distance.
But not all anxious attachers look the same.
In fact, in my coaching practice, I’ve noticed two distinct ways anxious attachment tends to show up — what I call the Passive Anxious Attacher and the Rigid Anxious Attacher.
Both are driven by the same core fear of abandonment, but the way they protect themselves looks very different.
-→One shrinks back — quietly people-pleasing, staying agreeable, and suppressing needs to keep the peace.
-→The other tightens their grip — seeking control, demanding reassurance, and struggling to let go when things feel uncertain.
And while so many factors shape how our attachment patterns form — from childhood experiences, cultural background, and trauma history to temperament and personality — it’s incredibly powerful to start noticing how your attachment shows up in your relationships today.
That’s exactly what I dive into in this week’s episode:
“The Passive vs. Rigid Anxious Attacher — Two Faces of Anxious Attachment.”
We’ll explore how these patterns play out, why one can often look “avoidant” from the outside, and the practical steps both types can take to start moving toward secure, balanced love.
And if you’re ready to go deeper and learn actionable tools to create secure relationships (with yourself and others), this is the exact work we do inside my Attachment Coaching practice. Together, we uncover your patterns, strengthen your secure self, and build the skills for healthy, reciprocal love.
👉 Book a free clarity call here.
