Ep.107/ How Avoidant Attachment Can Lead to Selfish Tendencies
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Have you ever dated someone who seemed hyper-independent, constantly needed space, or didn’t think to include you in their day-to-day life?
At first glance, it might’ve felt… selfish.
But what if that “selfishness” wasn’t about not caring—but about not knowing how to connect?
🔊 In this week’s podcast episode, we’re turning the spotlight onto avoidant attachment—and unpacking how what looks like distance or self-focus is often just a protective coping mechanism.
Last week, I explored the way anxious attachment can show up as selfishness. This week, we’re flipping the script—because avoidants struggle too. And their behaviors often come from early experiences of emotional neglect, dismissal, or pressure to “toughen up.”
In this episode, you’ll learn:
Why avoidants often retreat into routines, hobbies, or work
How emotional closeness can feel threatening, even when it’s desired
What to expect (and what not to expect) in an avoidantly-attached partner
How both anxious and avoidant partners can stretch toward secure love
Why healthy relationships require interdependence, not hyper-independence
Whether you identify as avoidant, anxious, or are trying to love someone with these patterns, I hope this episode brings you some clarity and compassion.
